Welcome to our weekly “Best of the Submissions” roundup. Each week we’ll highlight a few of our favorite submissions from the past 7 days so you can enjoy them all in one place. Don’t forget we also post submissions to our social media pages.
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Dolla dolla bill y’all
Manager to the intern – Sarah seemed pretty frustrated today, do you know what happened?
Intern – She asked me to get change from the bank for a few of the hundred dollar bills
Manager – And?
Intern – I thought that meant she wanted all coins… so that’s what I brought her
Manager: First item on the agenda today: Who the f*** took my dongle?!?
Bending time and space to their will
On the phone with a customer…
Customer: Ok so I’m looking to ship artwork to my office
Employee: No problem, I can give you a price quote if you tell me the dimensions of it
Customer: It’s about 12 inches long and 15 inches wide
Employee: Ok, ok. And how tall is it?
Customer: I’m sorry, what?
Employee: What’s the height of the artwork?
Customer: I don’t understand, what are you saying.
Employee: Well sir, we live in a three dimensional world so I’ll need the artwork’s height to give you an accurate quote
Can I take that sentence back?
Client: Have you ever had any luck with risque topics?
Manager: Well, we actually recently did a survey on men’s penis size that did very well. We asked men the size of their penis and then compared it to scientific, hard data…
There you have it — the first our of weekly roundups. Be sure to follow us on Twitter to see more submissions and check out our new roundup each week.
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